32 Things To Do With Beer

Beer is so good that you should be able to do more with it than just drink it then flush it away. I'm bathing in it now, submerged in the sweet smell of Original Badebier Neuzeller Kloster-Brau, a German brew of 16th-century origin that costs $77 per 3-liter bottle. It's blacker than motor oil (and only slightly less viscous), but it's uncommonly delicious. In fact, after I had uncorked the bottle and sampled it, it seemed criminal to pour it into a tub of hot bathwater. This stuff is for my insides, not my outsides.

But when I punch on the Jacuzzi jets, my beer bath foams into an impressive head. Had I known about this possibility before, I would be the cleanest man in North America. After 20 minutes of soaking, I step out, heeding the brewer's advice to towel off without rinsing. I expect my skin to be tacky and tart-smelling, like a fraternity floor the morning after homecoming. But my wife buries her face in my chest and says I smell like fresh bread. The yeast — left in to soothe the skin — had made mine smooth and luxurious.

If Badebier weren't so expensive and difficult to obtain (international money orders or cash only to Neuzelle, Germany), I could become a bubble-bath addict.

The experience started me thinking about other possible uses for my favorite beverage. What if beer were like WD-40 — an indispensable product with hundreds of household uses? The next time your bride complains about all the room it's taking up in the fridge, you could argue that it's not just beer, it's lawn fertilizer, a necessary kitchen-safety tool, and an integral part of a chess set.

And, of course, research shows that, in moderation, drinking beer has significant health benefits. It's time, gentlemen, to make beer an even bigger part of our world. Here are 32 new reasons to love it.

1. BATHE IN IT Instead of sipping a beer, try soaking in it. Pour a bottle of German Badebier in the tub and lie back for a real bubble bath.

2. PUT OUT A FIRE Although certainly not as effective as a real fire extinguisher, a can or bottle of beer can mimic one if none is available. Simply shake and spritz. After all, beer is mostly water. This works on small grill flare-ups, and some people have been known to carry an emergency can in their car in case of engine fire. Or at least that's what they tell the state troopers.

3. MARINATE MEAT Beer is slightly acidic — and that makes it an excellent meat tenderizer, says Linda Omichinski, R.D., a nutritionist. This allows you to enjoy leaner cuts that otherwise might be too tough. Beer also won't alter the meat's flavor as much as wine- and vinegar-based marinades do. Poke a few holes in the meat, put it in a Tupperware container (we know you have them) or a large resealable bag, and add beer. (English ale is great for beef.) Marinate in the refrigerator for a few hours or, better yet, overnight. Do not drink the marinade. ...Read more here...